Standing by my original position.
Hey folks,
This past Sunday, I talked about Celina Okwuone. She is the eleven year old that found life to horrifying to live, hanging herself with a belt, in her bedroom closet. I told you how this was a horrific and sad,, well here you go. I said this.
I wrapped it up with this.
The PARENTS have to start early. Laying the foundation. They have to be responsible for teaching their children that they are more important than anything that someone who doesn't know them says about or even to them. If taught right, they will be able to see these stupid kids being kids things, for what they are. Nonsense.
Then I got this posted here.
Bullying has been around forever. Truly. Most kids go through it and grow up just find. Bullying is with us all through school, Collage {Hazing, ETC.} Military, and even on some jobs. As Sara said, I do not see it changing anytime soon. So our kids have to be able to deal with it in appropriate ways.
"I wonder, dear writer, about your motivations in writing this. Either you are an employee of the school (trust me, they are covering up more dirt than a government agency) or an insensitive and judgemental person."
No I'm not employed by the School. I DO understand the compassion aspect of this. I REALLY do. I can not imagine losing a child. If this had been a Murder, Accident, Medical thing, or whatever, I would be the first in line to call for the comforting of the Parents. I would be keeping them in my heart and Prayers. I still am. But, this is NOT a Murder, Accident, Medical thing, or anything else. This IS a Suicide by an ELEVEN YEAR OLD BABY GIRL. You even admit this."Yes, the parents have some responsibility and maybe even a bigger portion to know everything going on in their daughter's life," YES THEY DO. If things were this horrific, WHY did they not know? But it seems they DID know. They failed to do anything about it. Oh they complained. But what did they DO!
This just disturbs me.
"but the school has some responsibility too, especially when so many have complained of this before. Many parents at St A's believe something like this was bound to happen. We saw it coming, there were warning signs everywhere in that bullying was on the rise there."
THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL SENDING YOUR KIDS THERE!!! I'm sorry, but If I felt that somewhere that I was sending Josh to, for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, that is IN CHARGE of TEACHING him things he needs to know for the future, is a DANGER to him, I would STOP! I'm sorry Anonymous, but I just do not get it. Someone tells me, "if you send your boy to XWZ, there is a good chance that the Lions will eat him," I'm NOT sending Josh. But as for the regular growing up stuff, I will teach him where the line is to defend himself, and what to do if he is bullied in degrees. Name Calling, ignore it. Pushing? Punching, Kicking? If he ever came home and send he was in trouble because he punched, or kicked the teeth down the throat of someone bullying him or another, I'll take him out to dinner and we will CELEBRATE. If someone is so terrifying to him or someone else, then he tells me, and WE go to the school and speak with the Teachers, AND the Parents of the little monster. IF I feel that there is nothing that can be done about it at the one location, I will then MOVE him out of harms way. I do not care about the COST. I do not care about the convenience. My number one job is to PROTECT my Child. Screw everything else.
However, in ALL this, I will also teach Joshua why he is important. I will let him discover who he is. I will guide him in the beginning stages of his journey. I will let him fly. But you better bet that Daddy Hawk is near by. Watching.
Peter
Hey folks,
This past Sunday, I talked about Celina Okwuone. She is the eleven year old that found life to horrifying to live, hanging herself with a belt, in her bedroom closet. I told you how this was a horrific and sad,, well here you go. I said this.
I'm sorry, but this is just patently absurd to me. Sad, horrifying, and something NEEDS to be done. Look at this sweet little girl.I talked about the News article in the Local News Outlet, and how the Parents were blaming everyone BUT themselves. I also asked this question.
Celina Okwuone
Why are we now in mourning over this little girl? Why did I have to wish HER God speed with Gary Coleman? Well, according to her Parents, it was because she was bullied. Yes folks. They blame the other kids. Just wait, they will try to sue the School. Maybe it's just society itself. I have a question. WHAT ABOUT THEM?!?! When are they going to start blaming who is REALLY at fault here. THEM!
OK. First thing, she is ELEVEN. Second, and the first question I would ask if I was a Detective investigating this, "Why"? I'm not kidding. I put Josh to sleep at night, once in a blue moon, I MAY peek in on him. Most of the time, I see him again when he gets up in the morning. So WHY at 11:30 pm, did they find it necessary to "force themselves into her room?" What was the reason they wanted to see her AFTER she kissed them and went to sleep?Everyone seems to be ignoring this little point. I asked where her parents were? Why did she at age nine, have unlimited an unmonitored access to the Internet and a Cell Phone. Assuming that the Parents had no idea. Then we learned from the Parents, that the bullying went on for TWO YEARS. Why did her Parents not do more in those two years. Move? Change Schools? Take the toys, the access to her by the bullies, away? Do SOMETHING more than complain and demand someone ELSE fix the problem. The Police investigation found that no laws were broken. The school yard bullying held no legal part in her death. I asked why the Parents seemed to have failed to lay a solid foundation. Teach her about self esteem Why, did she feel the need to fit in so desperately bad that it cause her unimaginable pain and suffering that she felt the only way out was through Suicide?
I wrapped it up with this.
Alright, I feel sick to my stomach now. If anything happen to Josh to drive him to the point of Suicide, the very FIRST person I would blame is ME. I AM the Parent. He IS MY Child and MY responsibility. Not the Police. Not the School system. Not OTHER Parents of OTHER kids. ME and Josh. These Parents looking to blame everyone else is just absurd. Suing the School, blaming the Police, and taking in their 15 minutes of Fame over the loss of this Sweet Little Girl is sickening to me. Time for someone to truly start asking "Why?".Well, some of you have taken a bit of a different position. Over at Facebook, I had this exchange.
Peter
Debbie BaldwinI just do not accept this though. I have a problem with this statement. "When it involves destroying a child's persona by constant negativity from others then no amount of positive parental influences may help." I just do not agree. Not to get too preachy here, but it is even Biblical. You have to teach your children the way to go. Right and Wrong. Good and Evil. You must show them the way to go. Who they are and can become. You have to show them unconditional love. I know, this is hindered with Nannies, Day Care, ETC. Now a days, the kid is dropped off somewhere or given to someone else to RAISE and TEACH Morals and Ethics. They are going to LEARN something. By someone.
Have you ever had a child who was bullied at school, have you ever spoke to the principal and teachers numerous time to no avail regarding these issues? I have,My child didnt commit suicide but school bullying is real.
Sunday at 1:27pm ·
Peter Carlock
No Josh is 4 going on 5. if he is bullied, I deal with it the best I can. I'll do everything I can. If he becomes a Bully, I will put him in his place. I understand, and am well aware that bullying is real. We all go through some kind of stupid things growing up. But as you said, your kid did not commit suicide. This poor little girl was Eleven. Sorry, but I still blame the parents for letting it get to the point where she felt no other option existed.
Debbie Baldwin
My opinion is this, schools too often look the other way because they dont understand how bad the bullying is. When your child is tormented because of their race, their weight, the clothes they wear, the color of their eyes...their whole being then its a problem. But they tend to push it aside. I was told along with my daughter that maybe if she ... was friendlier ...get real already. How can you be friendlier to the ones who are tormenting you. Kids keep diaries and we dont always know it. I have to say that no 11 yr old of mine would have a cell phone though. I guess we will agree to disagree on this one.
Sunday at 1:48pm ·
Sara Konen
I 'm disable and I am almost 52 and i was push around in school. I think it will never end and that is very sad. It starts at home.
Sunday at 6:31pm ·
Peter Carlock
Yes it does. We are all Captains of our own Ships through this fantastic voyage called life. We all reach the age of accountability, and recognition. We arrive at the people we are through a VAST number of influences. However, when the Parents lay a solid foundation at home, the Child has a better chance of enduring the negatives, and has a higher percentage of holding the values and strengths of their Parents. Without that foundation, outside influences WILL have a more profound effect.
Sunday at 11:47pm ·
Debbie Baldwin
Outside influences could be a number of things. When it involves destroying a child's persona by constant negativity from others then no amount of positive parental influences may help. A young child is very vulnerable to negativity because they dont have the skills or knowledge to protect themselves. Our self worth is constantly being formed ... See Morethrough life and school is a big part of their life just as work is a big part of our life so things that happen their affect them very much so and are out of the hands of the parents. We expect the adults who are at school to be in control and they dont always do what is right for every students, sometimes they take the easy rode. I know all of this for a fact because I was a teachers assistant for 9 yrs and I know how the admin handled many situations.
Yesterday at 1:46am
The PARENTS have to start early. Laying the foundation. They have to be responsible for teaching their children that they are more important than anything that someone who doesn't know them says about or even to them. If taught right, they will be able to see these stupid kids being kids things, for what they are. Nonsense.
Then I got this posted here.
Anonymous said...OK. That is one of my points. "My children go to St Anastasia School and there have been huge problems with bullying for years. People have taken their kids out of the school because of this." Good for them. Why are yours still there? If this school is so horrible, WHY is it still open?
I can't believe how incredibly judgemental the person who wrote this is. You know very little about the facts, just what you read in the papers. My children go to St Anastasia School and there have been huge problems with bullying for years. People have taken their kids out of the school because of this. Last year, a group of parents who were so fed up with the administrations lack of action, went to Fr. George who is the pastor of St Anasatasia Church to complain. I am sure the parents are blaming themselves but I also know that the school has a responsibility to create a safe environment. MANY parents have had the same experience that the Okwuones have had in that they have gone to the school many times about this and the school has done nothing. I wonder, dear writer, about your motivations in writing this. Either you are an employee of the school (trust me, they are covering up more dirt than a government agency) or an insensitive and judgemental person. Yes, the parents have some repsonibility and maybe even a bigger portion to know everything going on in their daughter's life, but the school has some responsibilty too, especially when so many have complained of this before. Many parents at St A's believe something like this was bound to happen. We saw it coming, there were warning signs everywhere in that bullying was on the rise there.
9:47 AM
Bullying has been around forever. Truly. Most kids go through it and grow up just find. Bullying is with us all through school, Collage {Hazing, ETC.} Military, and even on some jobs. As Sara said, I do not see it changing anytime soon. So our kids have to be able to deal with it in appropriate ways.
"I wonder, dear writer, about your motivations in writing this. Either you are an employee of the school (trust me, they are covering up more dirt than a government agency) or an insensitive and judgemental person."
No I'm not employed by the School. I DO understand the compassion aspect of this. I REALLY do. I can not imagine losing a child. If this had been a Murder, Accident, Medical thing, or whatever, I would be the first in line to call for the comforting of the Parents. I would be keeping them in my heart and Prayers. I still am. But, this is NOT a Murder, Accident, Medical thing, or anything else. This IS a Suicide by an ELEVEN YEAR OLD BABY GIRL. You even admit this."Yes, the parents have some responsibility and maybe even a bigger portion to know everything going on in their daughter's life," YES THEY DO. If things were this horrific, WHY did they not know? But it seems they DID know. They failed to do anything about it. Oh they complained. But what did they DO!
This just disturbs me.
"but the school has some responsibility too, especially when so many have complained of this before. Many parents at St A's believe something like this was bound to happen. We saw it coming, there were warning signs everywhere in that bullying was on the rise there."
THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL SENDING YOUR KIDS THERE!!! I'm sorry, but If I felt that somewhere that I was sending Josh to, for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, that is IN CHARGE of TEACHING him things he needs to know for the future, is a DANGER to him, I would STOP! I'm sorry Anonymous, but I just do not get it. Someone tells me, "if you send your boy to XWZ, there is a good chance that the Lions will eat him," I'm NOT sending Josh. But as for the regular growing up stuff, I will teach him where the line is to defend himself, and what to do if he is bullied in degrees. Name Calling, ignore it. Pushing? Punching, Kicking? If he ever came home and send he was in trouble because he punched, or kicked the teeth down the throat of someone bullying him or another, I'll take him out to dinner and we will CELEBRATE. If someone is so terrifying to him or someone else, then he tells me, and WE go to the school and speak with the Teachers, AND the Parents of the little monster. IF I feel that there is nothing that can be done about it at the one location, I will then MOVE him out of harms way. I do not care about the COST. I do not care about the convenience. My number one job is to PROTECT my Child. Screw everything else.
However, in ALL this, I will also teach Joshua why he is important. I will let him discover who he is. I will guide him in the beginning stages of his journey. I will let him fly. But you better bet that Daddy Hawk is near by. Watching.
Peter
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